Chapter One- "The Poo Gas Is Released"

One day, as I was giving myself my daily spanking, I thought to myself: "Benji, you should go on an adventure!" I thought about it for a moment, and then I replied to my conscience. "Sure, man. Sounds like some great times!" I grabbed my hobo equipment and then I headed over to my friend's house. (My friend, by the way, is Brian David Walker, the most famous of them all.)

As I was walking over there, Brian's little brother, Aaron Walker, was being beaten with the Ugly Stick by a mysterious black man, who we will call "Migeroach." Now Migeroach wasn't exactly beating the kid too hard, but I decided to help Aaron out anyways. I opened up my "hobo pack" and pulled out my pair of undies that turned out to be ten years old (and at the same time, they seemed to be a shade of brown). These undies, truly disgusting me, left me with no choice but to throw them at Migeroach. So while holding my nose with one hand, I took the old, brown undies in the other hand and threw them at Migeroach. The poo-hashed undies flew ten feet into the air and landed right on Migeroach's head. Migeroach tried to fight them off his head, but before he could do anything, the undies released their poo-gas, and he instantly died. Five minutes later, the police were contacted by an unknown force, and I was taken away to prison for killing a black man with my never-cleaned undies of truth.

"It wasn't my fault!" I tried to tell the judge the next morning at court. "I was just trying to save my friend's brother from the black man, who was beating him with the ugly stick! You have got to believe me!"
The judge picked up his "wooden hammer" and banged it upon his desk thingamajig. "That is enough! Allow us to hear Aaron's part of the story. Aaron, you may begin."
"Ahem. Thank you sir. Before I begin, i would like to thank everyone for coming out to court to see me. I would like to send a shout out to--" Aaron began.
"Oh, shut up, you TURDle!" I said, interupting Aaron's 'speech.'
"Atención! Atención! Benjamin David Nelson, I believe it is Aaron's turn to be speaking. You may now shut the heck up," the judge said as he let one loose.
Aaron smiled and flaughed. He then moved his glasses up and down. "Ah, yes, as I was saying. It was the morning of yesterday. I was with my good friend, Migeroach. I loved him. He was like a brother...until HE killed him!"
"What!? Aaron, you traitor! You are my brother's friend. I was just trying to save you! Your friend, Figeroach or Migeroach, whatever you call him, was beating you with the ugly stick!" I fought back.
"What? Lies! Who here was at the scene of the crime? Who saw Benjamin David Nelson kill my best friend, Migeroach?"
After a half milisecond, Aaron's mother stood up. "I was cooking country fried fish when I looked out the window. I saw Benjamin David Nelson beating Aaron with the ugly stick! And then Migeroach tried to save Aaron, but before he could do anything to stop him, BDN had already taken his undies and soffocated Migeroach with them! BDN is a liar and a murderer. He deserves to be sent to prision...for LIFE!"
"LIES! It is all lies! I saved the kid. I am innocent, I tell ya, INNOCENT!"
BDN then stood up and was about to knock Aaron a big one right in the mouth, but then he realized his hands were roped together. He kicked at everything in his way and he tried to get to Aaron to inflict at least a little damage on him. However, the judge stopped all the chaos.
"ORDER IN THE COURT! Security, take this man to the cells! He is a mad man, and he deserves to be locked up!"
And that was it. BDN, a innocent man who was just trying to save his friend's brother, ended up guilty and in prision.